There comes a time in everyone’s life, where they realize that they have just been pushed too far…they realize that the people in their lives that they trusted, and laughed with, and smiled with and shared good times and intimate thoughts with…are the ones that are the first to look them in the eye…and lie.
At this exact moment, I’ve had two people in my life (just to name a few), that were of a certain importance - lie to me…and I caught them. Now – obviously, everyone lies…it’s human nature, I get that. But what I don’t understand is how you can lie TO someone, to their FACE and expect it all to blow over. Do I look like I’m naïve? Do I look like the type of person that would just take your bullshit, and your lies and walk away satisfied??…apparently I do…and sadly enough…that’s exactly what I have been doing for so long now. Walking away with the wool over my eyes…just convincing myself that I wouldn’t be surrounded by people that would be so bold to lie to me like that.
Then…I realized I was lying to MYSELF about the lies; convincing myself, that they weren’t lies, just pure coincidences, and that I needed to come to terms with the fact that everyone handles situations differently. If I would have dealt with something one way, and not the way that Person X dealt with it, I found myself giving them the benefit of the doubt, and telling myself that I needed to be more open to how people deal with situations. When in reality, they were just smug in the fact that I believed their far fetched lie…and it just snowballed from there. Lying because they couldn’t tell the truth because it wouldn’t make sense with the last lie they told…etc…
Now – if you are reading this, you know exactly who you are, and you are only the icing on this cake…and I only have one thing to say to you…was it worth it?? All I’ve ever asked for …all I’ve ever wanted was the truth. I trust anyone until you give me reason not to – and I didn’t want to believe that you couldn’t be trusted...I want to believe that everyone can be….but with each lie, and each passing day it gets harder and harder to trust anyone.
Whether you’re my best friend, co-worker, acquaintance, ex, whatever…there is a trust that I automatically have instilled in you…and sadly because of a select few (surprisingly men...lol) it’s not automatic anymore.
I will not assume that people are telling me the truth about tough subjects, I will not assume that when you say you are having fun you actually are, and I will 100% not assume that when you tell me your single…you are.
The lesson my friends, is that we live in a world of selfish people, who really don’t give a shit about you and your feelings…even when they say they do. Granted, there are a lot of great people out there, and those that you could trust with your life…but very few…and when you have one of them…you hold on to them for dear life.
Sadly, I’ve learned that after 24 yrs of friendships, and relationships, and pseudo-relationships (LOL) – the only person that you can trust is yourself…and even then it’s hard to trust what your mind says vs. what your heart feels. I’ve learned that if your heart wants it, its gonna hurt…and if your mind wants it...it might be boring (but safe).…and I know that I’m just waiting for the day that happy medium exists…where my mind TRUSTS my heart….but until then…
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