Words of Wisdom

You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, 'I have lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along.' You must do the thing you think you cannot do.
-- Eleanor Roosevelt.

Happy Turkey Day!!

Its supposed to be the start of a joyous holiday season...

Yet -- I sat alone all night, not being thankful for anything. I tried to sit and be thankful for my health; and well..as we all know that is NOTHING to be thankful for.

I tried to be thankful for my family -- and yet I wasn't with them, and I was alone.
I tried to be thankful for my friends -- and well..I was...but there was always something pressing in the back of my mind about them...

I tried to be thankful for the experiences I have been through in the last 2 yrs, that have made me the person I am today....and well...

I realised that I am thankful that I haven't been too weak in the last little while...I am thankful for the possibility that things are looking up....even if it is just a small fraction of a percent of a chance...

I sit here writing this, knowing that everyone is snug in their beds, cuddling each other and being happy and content with this Holiday Weekend. While I sat and watched TVO'd shows and had a bottle of wine...

I hate being alone, as much as I pretend I can handle it...I can't...


****

On a lighter note, after my small breakdown on Thursday, and after talking to you....you calmed me down -- as you always know how too....

Thank you. From the bottom of my heart. Thank you.

You took a day that was shit, and let me vent to you...and then you calmed me down and made me laugh...

Thank you.

Oh and ..lol --- The picture is on its way..hahah ;)

Im throwing myself into my work as to forget about all this stuff....hopefully not being sick, and being able to lose some weight. I have a trip that I need to save for and what not...I have to get in shape...and get healthy so I can go and have fun and not worry about Cancer and other things

You know what....

I am thankful that I got to love you..and have you for the short time that I did. You taught me about myself, my strengths and weaknesses.....about who I need to be to have you love me...to have anyone, including myself, love me.

As much hatred I have in my heart for you, it is overcome by love and gratitude for you.

Lets just hope that this is going to be the begginning of a good friendship...one that went from being best friends...to just friends...

Im Thankful for people like you...

Im thankful for you making me smile, and laugh....

Im thankful I still have the strength to do that...